Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Bear vs. Bengal... Who Ya Got?

Bengal versus Bear. Naturally, we’d be more than content than have the little ones have it out for our love. Take it away, tykes.

Rather, this will be settled in the arena of cereal, the last redoubt of bored slackers like us the world ’round. WHO YA GOT?
Bear
Pros:

- Worthy of extensive history of iconography
-Again, the Godless Killing Machine thing
- Judging from picture, clearly ‘roiding
- Dutifully pays the bear tax

Cons:
-No cereal makes your pee smell more than Golden Crisp.
-Get too many and it’s like “A freaking country bear jamberoo”
-Weakness for honey pot
-Often confused for Logan Mankins

Tiger
Pros-

-Employs Tiger Style


-Exxon Tiger is bleeding me dry
-Tiger Uppercut most vicious, also fun to say
-Apparently has a boat (SO THAT’S WHY HE BEAT DOLPHIN!)
-Inspired excellent William Blake poem
-Less flamboyantly gay than Tigger

Con:
-Frosted Flakes soggy after negative two seconds in milk.
-Also cutting back on sugar to appear healthy. Fuck you. Back to Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs for me.
- Fearful symmetry too symmetrical
-Inspired annoying Comcast commercial


KSK

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